This past week, for the first time in my life, I made the 17-ish hour drive from NYC to Montgomery, Alabama. I never had a reason to do so before, nor anyone that would really go with me if I did. So why this change of heart? Oh, what you wouldn’t do for a boy, right?
However, considering that he did take an international trek with me within this past year, I felt that it would be only proper to repay the debt. Oh, and he was getting commissioned to become a officer in the Air Force. No biggie, right?
He had been in OTS for two months, since the end of February, and although I spoke with him every day, I probably actually know very little. He told me the good things, the funny stories, the commendations that he received. He left many of the harder times out of his tales.
It hasn’t been easy on my end, either. There’s been a general lack of information that has made it very difficult to make informed decisions. This, compounded with my innate tendency towards indecision, has made me feel like I’m in a rut. I have tried to deal with it by meeting with friends, going out, reading…Netflix has been a great companion. I have always been better at looking at things up close, examining a book with my nose and inch away from the paper. In my current story, there are so many strands. I can see the strengths and weaknesses in each individual one, but I can’t see how to weave them together. It’s why I’ve always preferred drawing portraits over landscapes; faces need a large degree of detail, but it’s not possible to draw every single blade of grass. All the anxiety is bothersome to deal with.
Even though Matt did tell me a bunch, his stories are not mine to tell. He would know what is purely privileged information and what isn’t. I can only really talk about my side of the story – the people that I meet, the experiences that I have when visiting, etc. I don’t have time to write it today, but we’ll see how it goes, little by little.
Cheers.